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Dead appliance trifecta

First the dryer, then--last weekend--the refrigerator. Now guess who's volunteered for the Great Major Appliance Die-Off?

rocket_launcher.jpgOkay, the old Kenmore gave us 20 years. I think it died from rug-whamming. (You know, when the spin cycle goes crazy and all the heavy-wet rugs cling to one side and the machine goes wham-wham-wham like Mr. Haney's washer on Green Acres.) It was just moments after a rug-whamming incident that the water surged from beneath. After 20 years, you don't diagnose the old dear, you just take it out and (see above).

The sadness, however, is that the little laundry room is fitted together like a Chinese puzzle, and now we have to take every single thing out. Again. "Every single thing" means most of our china and glassware, for reasons that are difficult to explain. It also means removing and re-installing the new gas dryer. In other words, it's not just a heart transplant, but a heart-lung transplant, except we did the lungs a few weeks ago and now we have to go back in and do the heart, and the patient is getting tired.

If I had any brain cells left functioning in the savor-delicious-irony part of the cortex, I guess I'd relish the fact that the washer flooded even as the roof was leaking directly over it, in the aftermath of Tropical Rainstorm Binky. A sort of attempted meeting of the waters. In theory, had I not mopped it up quickly, the rainwater could have actually fallen into the floodwater, like spring showers pattering onto a woodland stream.

Back to Sears. This time, I won't bother printing out a Consumer Reports checklist, since, as we discovered with the fridge, they can't even get the dimensions right, and they review only model numbers that don't seem to exist. I will just find a top-loader that looks like Old Reliable--no foofy digital controls, wide-panel TV screens, or "designer colors"--and say, Gimme one o' those.  What I'd rather shop for is a cool washer-related T-shirt. Can't find an active purchasing link for this one, but gotta love it: jakeswashingmachineman.jpg

On a more elegiac note, there's this one available from "Owl Movement":


There. Now hand me my rocket-launcher.


Posted on Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 10:34AM by Registered CommenterBrenda from Brooklyn | Comments1 Comment

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Reader Comments (1)

I feel your pain. While our applicances seem to be doing fine, we've been killing cars like they were Texans at the Alamo. It has not been pretty.

My mom lives by Consumer Reports and everything she buys based on their recommendations is jinxed. For example, we both bought Honda Civics at the same time. Hers was newer and four door, mine was an old hatch back. The only time mine was in the shop was when someone broke out the window and stole my pocket change (gotta love DC). Hers was in the shop all the time. Why? Because 50% of the time the AC would come on when you turned on the radio. They were never able to fix it either.
June 5, 2007 at 01:08PM | Unregistered CommenterJohn

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