Did you know?
* Rainwater is bad for interior sheetrock.
* Squirrel mastication is bad for fascia boards.
* Cat urine is bad for parquet floors.
* Liquifying small decorative pumpkins are bad for antique sideboards and adjacent bric-a-brac. Especially carved folk-art waterfowl under which pumpkin-liquifaction has pooled.
* "Quick" oatmeal is not good 40 minutes after being microwaved.
* Set your microwave for "3 minutes" to make the fence salesman arrive to take measurements.
* A backhoe, dump truck, and jackhammer crew replacing the sidwalk across the street from your home make everything more exciting.
* Baking soda rubbed into parquet floors does not extract the smell of cat urine.
* Murphy's Oil Spray for woodwork does not remove the stain of liquified pumpkin.
* 12:30 p.m. is generally considered too early for cocktail hour.
Hell-oise does not wish to elaborate on any of these points, but she wishes you a peaceful weekend.