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Hints from Hell-oise

Did you know?

* Rainwater is bad for interior sheetrock.

* Squirrel mastication is bad for fascia boards.

* Cat urine is bad for parquet floors.

* Liquifying small decorative pumpkins are bad for antique sideboards and adjacent  bric-a-brac. Especially carved folk-art waterfowl under which pumpkin-liquifaction has pooled.

* "Quick" oatmeal is not good 40 minutes after being microwaved.

* Set your microwave for "3 minutes" to make the fence salesman arrive to take measurements.

*  A backhoe, dump truck, and jackhammer crew replacing the sidwalk across the street from your home make everything more exciting. 

* Baking soda rubbed into parquet floors does not extract the smell of cat urine.

* Murphy's Oil Spray for woodwork does not remove the stain of liquified pumpkin.

* 12:30 p.m. is generally considered too early for cocktail hour.

Hell-oise does not wish to elaborate on any of these points, but she  wishes you a peaceful weekend.

Posted on Friday, October 6, 2006 at 12:20PM by Registered CommenterBrenda from Brooklyn | Comments2 Comments

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Reader Comments (2)

It is never too early for cocktail hour - as it is after 5 pm somewhere in the world....
October 6, 2006 at 04:36PM | Unregistered CommenterSean
I sympathize with you about cat urine odor in hardwood floors. You might want to try a commercial product called "Hydrocide." You have to hunt down where you can buy it -- usually a flooring contractor. It comes in gallon cans for about $60, and you have to dilute it somewhat and spray it with a garden sprayer. It will remove the smell.
October 14, 2006 at 03:01PM | Unregistered CommenterMark

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